Saturday, October 22, 2011
understanding????
If you've read my blog before you probably know that Sam is nonverbal. She doesn't use signs or pictures to communicate, either. (Hopefully this will change someday). It's difficult to know what she understands. I do know that she understands a lot more than people might think. For example, when we're leaving the house she'll walk over to the stroller or the car door, depending on what I've told her we're doing. Last night I said "let's get your shoes and socks on". She came over and sat in front of me and her shoes, and gave me her foot. When she does things like that I know she understands....but much of the time I don't know. I've read many times about people with autism who say that even when they were nonverbal they could understand everything people were saying. This leaves me wondering.....am I working on the wrong things with Sam? Am I keeping things too simple when she could be understanding more? It's so hard to know when I'm not getting much feedback from her, and so I struggle with this. Before her regression she knew some body parts, some animal noises, etc....did she forget all of that when she regressed or is that still in her head? I just don't know. It's so difficult to know what to try to teach her when it seems that she doesn't pay attention and she gives me no feedback. With my typical children I knew once they understood a concept. With Sam I could talk about the color red every hour of every day, and I wouldn't know when or if she got it. Sometimes I feel lost. I don't always understand what she understands.
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9 comments:
Oh, my. So many things to think about and comment on. My son is now 18 and will now repeat things we said to him at 5 or 6. I think it's good to keep instructions simple for life skills. Assume that most kids of your daughters age are gaining language in chunks and miss information, whether they are autistic or not.
When my son was young, he didn't appear to be hearing us the first time. So we got in the habit of previewing information once and giving him a chance to only hear and not have to attend. We did the same thing with fun things, "Oh, look, a new Barney video. I'm going to play it in the VCR." And then I would walk away. He wouldn't watch it unless I played it first without asking him to watch it. If it was NEW especially.
You are doing a good job thinking about how to communicate with your daughter. And thinking about what she's taking in. Assume she's taking in more, but from an enrichment perspective rather than something she HAS to do. Not sure if that makes sense, but that's my experience with my son.
Tommy was nonverbal until 4. He had MAYBE 5 words, all food related, that he'd use. Even those weren't heard very often. I did SO MUCH learning-play with him. Most every toy we had was a learning toy. Puzzles out the wahh-zoo! I think you are correct.. she understands. She's showing you by following your direction. Keep moving on that. Get creative. Tommy had FAVORITE toys and videos. I'd hide them. IN, or ON, or UNDER even INSIDE drawers. Following direction to LOOK for things is a GREAT thinking tool for kids. NT or Autistic. As she understands more, you can complicate it more INSIDE the RED can and so forth.
I do talk to her all the time...telling her what we're doing on a pretty simple level. I think she understands a lot of it, but most of the time she doesn't give me any indication that she does.
Interesting about your son repeating things you said years ago!
I just felt like I was on top of things so much more with my other kids. Autism is a whole new ball game.
Rhonda....sometimes she surprises me when she does respond to something I say. I know there's a lot going on inside her head! Good idea about hiding and looking for toys!
AH, just typed a reply on my phone and it got lost. Anywho, I have always spoken to K as though she understands. She was essentially non-verbal until 4, and even then the dr told us she wasn't what he considered very verbal. All her tests came back that she was significantly delayed in receptive language, but I always spoke to her as I would any other kid. There were times I had to stop and break things down (at 3 she would not bring me her shoes if asked, so I would walk her over and show her what I wanted), but I only did that on a case by case basis, and continued to treat her "normally" otherwise. We have always had high expectations, and I truly believe that it has had an effect on where she is today. I think the biggest mistake we can make is giving our kids a free ride or using Autism as an excuse. K has always been expected to do things a typical child would do, from sitting at the table, to helping clean up her toys, etc. Sure, it doesn't always go smoothly, and we tweak things here or there (like setting a timer for the table, and working up to her sitting a longer time, etc), but I aim high and adjust as we go.
Lots of good advice on here! I just want to give a simple, "I'm there with you", and some virtual hugs.
I can absolutely get what your saying. With my daughter it's almost as if she understands better some days than others. Keep up the great job of talking to her. I definitely think that they retain and understand a lot more than we realize, even though they may seem like they aren't listening or understanding.
My Luke is 9 and non-verbal. I know I don't expect enough out of him. He is very smart though in some areas. Other areas, I have no idea. I do know he is an expert at acting like he can't do very much. You can catch him grinning when he get someone to do something for him or when he gets caught.
As far as communication goes, Luke had been using PECS for the last 3 years. In the last few weeks he has moved to the iPad. The teachers/therapists report the difference is amazing :-) He can communicate much faster. They also no longer make him request the everyday stuff that the typicals don't have to request (e.g. a pencil, items from the lunch box). I understand why this was done, but he was obviously getting tired of doing (what I call) baby-stuff. This is always hard to know - when is a child bored with doing something or just doesn't know it. SPED teachers like to have documentation! This time we decided to take the leap and now he is starting to request other things and doing the simple by
himself.
I think all the guessing is the hardest part of autism.
We're starting to watch what we say around Squeaker. I used to tell people he didn't know what we were saying, but I believe more and more that he always did, but never knew how to respond to what he heard. He shows signs that he listens more than he lets on now...
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