I have this friend, Roseann (hey Roseann!). I've known her for many years now, and even though we've never met in real life (someday!) she's watched me go through some major life changes. We were messaging several weeks ago, and I was talking about Sam. Roseann said she really believes that things happen for a reason. And then she said that maybe I was dropped into this situation because of my ability to talk about it. She said "Its a bigger picture than I think you can comprehend" and then "I'm a firm believer that we are put into the situations we are for the greater good of others". Wow. In all of the thinking and rationalizing I've done I've never thought of it in quite that way. I mean, yes, I've thought that maybe this has happened so that Sam and I can help someone else. But it hadn't dawned on me that my ability to talk about it could be a key component in and of itself. Crazy.
I do talk about it. I think it's important. I talk on my blog. I talk in real life. I'm open about Sam's autism and epilepsy. I talk about (some of) my feelings.....there are some feelings that are probably best kept to myself, at least for now. I've mentioned before that one reason I talk is because I believe that the more the general public knows and understands about autism and other disabilities the better life will be for Sam and others like her. People tend to be more comfortable with things they're familiar with.
I also talk because it's good for ME. It's cathartic, and it helps me to connect with other parents. Every single time I write about something thinking "I'm the only one", I find that I'm not and I don't feel so alone. There are usually lots of others out there with the same or similar feelings. When I talk sometimes I even find that something I've said has helped someone else to not feel so alone.
So I will keep talking....on my blog and in my community. Because I think it will help Sam, I know it helps me, and maybe once in awhile it helps someone else. There might not be very many people listening to me, but even a small pebble creates ripples on a pond.
So maybe Roseann was right. Maybe this happened because I am able to talk. Maybe it's bigger than me and bigger than Sam.
I will keep talking because Sam cannot. I hope that you will keep talking, too.
6 comments:
I like that better than the whole "god doesn't give you more than you can handle" approach.
That approach is crap, IMHO.
thanks for that little light bulb moment!....I talk about my little fella as well...to anybody who will listen. My frustration has always been "they can never understand".....Im slowly learning to let go of that. If i can just get someone to think about autism, even just for a minute....to just even wonder what their life would be like if they had a family member with ASD.??? small steps.
keep talking!!...cause I listen!!
Allison
I share my sons diagnosis whenever I can. I find people are genuinely interested in knowing more about autism.
I don't think there's a reason this happened to us, other than it just did. My philosophy is to now do the best we can under trying circumstances.
I really like Ally's comment above. We can't expect others to understand fully, but if at least we can plant the seeds of understanding then we have achieved something.
Your friend Roseann is one wise woman. And I don't like the "God won't give you more than you can handle" explanation either. Really, I believe God OFTEN gives us more than we can handle, so we have to turn to Him and be willing to receive help from others (and eventually to be able to give help to others in the same situation as well). If we could handle everything, we wouldn't need God in the first place.
Anyhow, your voice is more influential than you know. Keep speaking up for Sam and our kids on the spectrum. Every word counts, and there's always someone listening.
Word, sister!
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